Write or Wrong...

I've been horrible about keeping up with my blog -- a lot of things have been going on this year, some of which are written Creations. (I'm also going to post some of my song lyrics in this blog that I wrote for my band's newest album that we got out this year.)

As usual, interaction with others is the catalyst for me to get off my butt and get some stuff out there!

In this case, I took up the challenge and wrote a short story for Michelle Rowen's holiday short story contest; "O Come All Ye Fangful" http://www.michellerowen.com/2009/12/18/o-come-all-ye-fangful-winners/

(I didn't win or even place for an honorable mention, but I figured that I should at least post what I wrote--- somewhere! After all, that was part of the Challenge, right?!? Getting out of one's comfort zone and sharing your writing?)

I took a bit of life experience, exaggerated it, and added a twist. Enjoy!

"There's Something for Everyone" by Mary MacVoy 2009

"Oh holy night! What is that horrible noise?!?"

My vast powers of procrastination had once more thrust me into the Hell that is last-minute-holiday-shopping, and I was being inundated with the joys of the season at every turn in the mega-mall.

I usually don't mind listening to the festive music at this time of year -- but for a very good reason right now, it was clawing at my LAST nerve!

I felt my left eyelid twitch when I looked over the railing into the lower level.

A choir of festive children was belting out off-key Christmas tunes, and I mumbled to myself "What is the Choir Director thinking? Has he not been drinking enough eggnog with his rum?!?"

The out of tune, "precious little voices" were far from my idea of cute and were the last thing that I needed to distract me from the fact that I still had to buy gifts for my in-laws.

I cringed and hurried away from the choir's caterwauling.

My patience was getting shorter than my gift list, and there were only forty-five minutes left before the mall closed for the night.

In my opinion, there were much better things to be doing on the night of a full moon than Christmas shopping, but I always had the most difficult time choosing a gift for my father-in-law.

He was an enigma who was unfortunately not wrapped in bacon and dipped in chocolate. His obstinate ways were occasionally echoed in my husband – a quality of genetics that never failed to make me wish to bite him out of frustration.

At the thought of biting irritating people, my stomach rumbled and reminded me that I had skipped dinner, hoping to make some progress with my Christmas shopping. I doubted that mall security would look kindly upon me taking a nip out of a slow geriatric window-shopper or a few teenage mall-rats – even if they were the bane of the existence of any serious shopper between the ages of 19 and 55. (There's no meat quite so tender as the very young and the elderly.) I distracted myself with the sour-grapes thought of how bad they would taste, considering the likely amount of drugs (prescription and not) in their systems!

I juggled my awkward baggage and hurried on toward the next store.

What do you get for a man who has everything he needs except tolerance for any lifestyle that is different from the one that he grew up with? It wasn't that he was a bad son of a bitch, you just couldn't talk about religion, politics or god forbid, sex with the him! His inflexible opinions made it a real challenge to find pleasant subjects of conversation to fill visits with, after topics like the weather, hunting and the lunar cycle had been wrung dry of any communication value.

As I meditated upon my father-in-law's foibles, my attention was suddenly riveted by a glorious, irresistible smell. Where was it coming from?!? My nostrils flaring, I searched for the source of the scrumptious scent.

I felt a surge of joy as I realized, that not only had I found a balm to my shopping-shattered nerves, but I'd found the solution to my Christmas conundrum!

Ten feet away from me, hanging in the window of a specialty deli and illuminated with a golden spotlight --like a gift from heaven, was a two-foot long rod of hard salami! I didn't think that the festive paper wrapping would keep my father-in-law from guessing what gift I'd found for him, but I was filled with relief at being able to finally check another name off my gift-list.

After all, what better gift to give an old dog to chew on, than a new stick?